


Riker Tries to Cook

by Waywocket



Category: Steam Powered Giraffe
Genre: Cooking, Mentions of alcohol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:26:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25691281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waywocket/pseuds/Waywocket
Summary: Riker gets it in his head he can start cooking for himself. Luckily, someone in the manor can actually cook.
Kudos: 8





	Riker Tries to Cook

Moving the ramen around in the bowl Riker huffed. The only balance in his diet was the freeze-dried vegetables in the cup ramen he bought to ‘spice things up’. He wasn’t sure if he was so used to the taste or if all the cigarette smoke had eroded his senses. Either way, he was sick of it. Sick of ramen, when he remembered to eat, and sick of just drinking what little pay he got for keeping all the bots running.

With a heavy sigh, he looked into his wallet. There was a little cash there at least, he could work with that. Maybe he wouldn’t worry so much about the beer with a good meal, eh? That’s what he told himself anyway, as he stood up from the table.

Heading to the store he thought over what he could make. Come to think of it, Riker didn’t really know any recipes. Didn’t really cook at all. 

He stopped just inside the door and crossed his arms over his chest. Tilting his head he sighed. That was a problem, wasn’t it? What good was buying food if he didn’t know how to cook it?

About to turn around and head back he stumbled when someone pushed him out of the way. With a grunt, he glared at them and mumbled ‘incazzare’ under his breath. Not that he had half a clue what it meant, but he picked it up from Hare when he got upset enough to forget english. 

Standing up straight he looked around again. He’d been shoved to the magazine rack. As luck would have it, his eyes fell on a cooking magazine. One that promised simple starter recipes. Perfect! Grabbing the magazine he flipped through it while he grabbed a basket.

Looking it over he was a little overwhelmed, maybe a lot overwhelmed. He certainly wasn’t lacking for choice. Though half of the recipes had things he wasn’t even sure what they were or if they were even food. Like lemongrass, who ate grass?

Things looked dire while he aimlessly walked the aisles while he read. There had to be something in there he could use. Something even Riker could manage.

Just when he was about to throw the magazine and walk out, he found something. Chicken and snap pea stir-fry, that didn’t sound too bad. At least the directions were simple and he knew what everything was. 

He kept the page open while he went shopping. This was going to make a lot of food, but at least leftovers weren’t so bad. Once he’d loaded up his basket, a few snacks, and a new bottle to boot. He never said he was going to quit drinking, he doubted he ever could.

After it was all rung out he nearly choked when he saw the price tag. Eating healthy was a lot more expensive than living off ramen. Clearing his throat he passed over the money and hurried back. 

Now that he had everything, he wasn’t so sure of himself. When was the last time he’d tried to cook? Had he? Taking a deep breath he tried and calmed his nerves. It was a little late to be turning back now. That was a lot of money to just throw out because he was nervous. If he was going to throw it all away he better burn it first, he thought with a dry laugh.

Studying the page again he sat it on the counter nearby. “Alright! Let’s see how fast I can screw this up.” Putting some oil on the skillet he turned on the heat. Next, he figured he better get to cutting. Grabbing a knife he looked around for a cutting board, he wasn’t sure they even had one.

After some digging he found, well, half of it. Vaguely, he remembered having to pull wood out of Jack a while back. “Guess now I know where it came from then.” With a sigh, he threw the rest of it away. The counter was good enough. Not like he had to worry about it looking pretty.

The first thing he cut was his finger. “God damnit!” He yelled before sticking his finger in his mouth. “Ack east it’s sarp,” he muttered around his finger before running it underwater. “Figure’s that’s the first thing I do,” he grumbled.

At least he didn’t bleed on the food, he thought, as he got back over to try again. Thinly sliced, he could do it, so long as he took it slow. The pepper slowly started to look like a mess. They were uneven and clumpy, nothing like the picture. Half of them weren’t even cut from the pepper, but squished and hanging “Damnit! Whatever.” 

Before he could do anything else, an acrid smell hit his nose. Making a noise of disgust, he turned around and saw that smoke rising from the pan. “Of course!” He yelled, grabbing the skillet off the heat. He at least knew not to spray water on it yet. 

“Can’t even heat up oil right. Can’t thinly slice peppers,” he sneered. “Why do I even bother?”

“What on earth are you doin’ in here?” Barked The Skull as he walked into the room. He looked over at the mess Riker had made with mild disgust on his face.

Riker turned around to see Skull standing at the doorway to the kitchen with his arms crossed over his face. Ducking his head, he shoved his hands in his pockets, he really didn’t need this right now. 

“Cookin’. Well, I was tryin’ anyways,” he admitted, not quite looking Skull in the eye.

Walking into the room Skull looked over the ingredients before he found the page Riker had been using. Seeing the skillet in the skin when nothing was cooked, he sighed. “How long were you heating the oil?” 

Riker shrugged. “Too long. I was butchering the pepper, and it started to smell.” Glancing at the skillet he could still smell it, Skull was lucky he couldn’t.

He raised a brow before looking at the stove. In his rush, Riker had left it on. It was on the highest setting. Skull flicked the burner off with a grunt. “No wonder it burnt.”

“Hey! I know I’m no five-star chef, lay off!” He made to leave the room but stopped when Skull spoke again.

“Always use a lower heat, high’s just for boilin’.” Walking over to the sink, he washed the skillet. “And always have things cut up before you turn on the heat.” He looked over his shoulder while he dried it and glared a little. “I’m only going to say this once, you better pay attention.”

Looking over at the pepper on the counter, he frowned. “And for Christ’s sake, use a cutting board!”

Riker stood still a moment while he watched Skull. Was he really going to teach him how to cook? At the question, he snapped back to it. “I’d love to, but Jack ate it. Found the remains in the cupboard.”

A thick plume of smoke while Skull hummed in thought. Walking over to a high cupboard that Riker couldn’t reach on his own, he pulled out a marble cutting board and rinsed it off in the sink. “Get your own damn cutting board. But I can’t have you cutting on the counters.”

Huffing a laugh, Riker nodded and came back fully into the room. “Alright, sounds fair. So cut, then heat. I guess that makes sense with all this.” Picking up the knife, he made to get started again. He yelped and jumped back with Skull snatched the knife from his hands. “Hey! What gives?”

Looking down at Riker, Skull frowned. “That’s not how you hold a knife, you’re just crushing it at that point.” Holding the pepper under his hand with three fingers to guide him, he showed Riker how to slice with a rocking motion.

When he glanced up, he was glad to see the engineer was actually paying attention. Turning the knife over, he handed it, handle side, to him. “It’s your dinner,” he huffed. Though he seemed markedly less annoyed.

Taking the knife, Riker wasn’t sure he could do half as well as Skull, but he was right. Mimicking Skull’s hand placement, he rocked the knife through the pepper. He was right, he wasn’t half as good, but they were at least a lot better than before.

Finishing up the cutting, he went to look at the recipe again, only to find it in Skull’s hands. “Hey, I need that still.”

Skull looked up and huffed.”You’ve still got the onions, garlic, and chicken to cut.” He started thumbing through the magazine.

With a grumble, Riker conceded. Skull was right, he supposed. Putting the peppers to one side, he pulled out the other vegetables and cut them first.

While he worked, Skull kept flipping through the recipes silently and walking around the kitchen. “Check your wrist, you're crushing them again.”

“How do you know, you aren’t even looking!” Complained Riker while he adjusted his wrist. Skull was right. Who knew he was that good of a cook?

“Alright, Ramsey. What’s next? Should I cut the oil too?” He ducked when Skull shot him a dark glare. 

“Heat the oil again. Don’t put it on high this time,” he warned while he looked over Riker’s cutting job. It wasn’t clean, but it was at least mostly even.

Sighing, Riker got the skillet back on the stove and tried again. While he waited for the oil to heat up, he grabbed a drink. “I appreciate this, by the way.” No answer, just another grunt.

After a short while, Skull handed him a plate of onions and garlic. “Just for a minute or so.”

“Yeah, when you can smell ‘em, right?” He tucked when Skull shot him another glare. “Right, sorry. Forgot you don’t have a sense of smell.”

Moving them around on the skillet, he glanced over to Skull again. He’d put the magazine down to watch the food as he cooked. It was unsettling at best. At least he hadn’t burnt anything, yet.

“Okay. The rest of the vegetables now, right?” He waited for a nod before he threw them in. Looking around he found the magazine again and looked through it for the page he needed. Cutting everything took longer than the actual cooking. 

Skulled leaned against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest again. Watching Riker, he made sure he didn’t start a fire or break something. It was just throwing things into the skillet, he couldn’t mess this up, probably.

Once it was finished, Riker cheered. “Finally! This looks pretty good for a first try, don’t you think?” He held up the skillet to show it off to Skull, who responded with a grunt.

“Looks alright. Edible at least.” He smirked, just a little. Good job, Riker. For a second attempt,” he reminded him. Standing up from the counter he raised a hand and walked out of the kitchen. “Just don’t forget to clean up after yourself.”

Looking around the kitchen, Riker saw the dishes from prep and groaned. He was going to need another drink. At least it smelled good.


End file.
